Category Archives: real estate

The Apartment Hunt

Okay, it has been almost a year and my boyfriend and I are still looking to buy an apartment. And, I can’t be a full bitch because he’s buying the apartment and paying the maintenance so I only can say so much and give him the stink eye but I’m getting really sick of it. And, I hate when people give their significant others deadlines but I feel like I must with My Brit because I’m stressing and our broker probably hates us.

And, since we have been on our never ending apartment search, all I have been watching is HGTV and kinda now into Million Dollar Listing  and one of the apartments we are going to see on Sunday is listed by one of the guys from the show. Don’t get too excited, he’s probably like the higher up on the sale and our price range is no where near the wealthy clients on the show. Ours is like the maid’s apartment.

And, I don’t know if you guys know but NYC real estate is crazy. For instance, if the apartment is a winner there will be offers that day and you don’t even have a chance to think about. Sometimes, I wish I had those auction paddles and just start shouting a price.

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on how to light some fire under My Brit’s ass. One, I need to move out of my current place ASAP so there’s that. Two, a part of me feels that he’s not that serious about moving in together. And, he should be because obviously I am amazing and because he’s going to be 37 this year which means it’s time to be an adult and buy me a place and get me an engagement ring. He really needs to start spending some big money, preferably on me.

So, what I’m saying is in my head, there is a deadline date for June (I know that’s crazy soon but it will be the end of June). And, if and I am hoping that it doesn’t have to come to that, if it hits, then I’m going full bitch mode and shit will be changing.

So again, what do you all think I should do? And yes, I already thought about pretending to be pregnant to move this apartment hunt quicker so another suggestion please ;)

Email me with your suggestions, comments, or questions at diaryofalovefool@gmail.com

 

Bombs Away

So if you have ever been in a relationship, an only child, or just shit shy then you understand my pain. I am all three and let me tell you something, it’s stressful. You have to stalk bathrooms out, time your bathroom session well, and pray you can be quick and smell-free.

Wait, what is bombing you ask? Bombing is referred to when you shit or fart. Everyone has done it and has been a victim of these bombs. Example, you are at a bar and maybe you are buying a drink or dancing and you are just minding your own business when boom, a strong smell hits your nose and makes your eyes water. That’s a fart bomb. And, the people that drop these bombs will walk away, making you look like the bomber. And, that’s not a cute look for anyone.

Another example is when you destroy the bathroom after let’s say eating Taco Bell. Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s a video to show you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw30B5R1Cig

Now you get it? Why am I bringing this up you ask? Well, as you know I am moving in with my Brit. So, when we spend the night at each other’s places I stress over when I can bomb my/his bathroom but now I will have to worry about it EVERYDAY. So, while looking at apartments, I would love to get a two bedroom so I can have a bomb bathroom.  A bomb bathroom, the one where you know you can destroy it to your ass’s pleasure and not worry about your lover. Right now, I’m going in public places and at work, which is not fun because I think everyone knows now.

It would also be nice to not have to pretend I’m showering longer than necessary when I’m really bombing. Also, not to wait for work would be super nice too. It’s so much work to bomb in the office. I stalk our 2nd floor bathroom since not a lot of people are on that floor, go in, drop as fast as I can, and bounce out of there before anyone knows it me. I feel like I need a mic to drop when I’m done.

I’m writing this because I know other people understand my struggle and I want them to know it’s okay. We will make it through together. And, when we do get a place, I will let you know if I get my bomb bathroom.

Any questions or comments please write to me diaryofalovefool@gmail.com

 

Moving On Up

So it’s time in a relationship that my Brit and I are talking about moving in together, and not just moving in but buying something. Being old (almost 31!) and him older, we struggled to decide if we should buy a house or an apartment in NYC. The Brit wants kids while I have never been in love with giving up my freedom to be a slave to some little shits. But, I love my man so I will pop out some babies for him, plus I will be allowed to eat as much as I want for 9 months and him be a slave to me… looking at this as a bonus.

So if we have kids, then it makes sense to look for a house outside in NYC, since my Brit is not a millionaire times thirty and not buying a townhouse. You get more for the buck and better schools. But, I’m not sure I’m ready (and will ever be) to move outside the best city in the world.  And, I can’t see myself yet driving a SUV and taking care of a house.

However, we went and looked at some houses and I did start to fall in love with the idea of becoming a home owner. The houses we saw were gorgeous and spacious… some with pools! I started picturing myself becoming Martha freaking Stewart with the cooking and making clothes for our children while rocking heels.

Then I woke up and realized that you have to commute everyday to the city for work and to live. Plus, the LIRR sucks balls (that’s the train we would take back and forth from Long Island to the city). And, we were looking in Long Island because that’s where I grew up (hence my horrible accent).   Check out the video to hear it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fepgtXjFo7Q

We were going to check out Westchester (the trains are supposed to be better) but then we were like why buy a house now? We are not married nor have any kids and we freaky love the city as if it was our child. Why leave it? We can have kids in the city till they start school or if my Brit makes more $$$ then we can send them to private school with all the other douchebags.

We checked out more apartments this past Sunday and I fell in love with such a cozy apartment. The price is amazing balls, the maintenance won’t kill us, everything is up to date, exposed brick, doorman, pet friendly, and two bedrooms! The second bedroom is a little small but that will be a guest room turned into a nursery. We can save with this place for a future bigger place wherever/whenever that might be.  Click on the link to see the place.

http://www.elliman.com/new-york-city/309-east-87-street-6h-manhattan-cyjlyfu

The only negatives are I wish there was more closet space (always need more of that) and one bathroom! Let’s talk about the bathroom situation in the next post because that’s a whole story.

If it was up to me, that place would be mine already but the Brit is paying for it sooooo it’s ultimately his decision. I’m trying to convince him to buy the place, even bragging him with blow jobs but he’s “smart” and likes to think about something till his head hurts. He’s in finance so I guess he knows more about investments while my investments are my clothes.

Is this not a nice place? Am I being too much? Email me with your comments or questions diaryofalovefool@gmail.com