For people who are wondering about The Brit and Little Man… no sex with The Brit yet and I haven’t been out with the Little Man. But, we are starting to think The Brit might be getting the cookie this weekend! Will update you if it happens.
What is smegma you ask? Well, it’s white gross bacteria that is usually found in someone’s private parts so usually with men if they are uncircumcised (or just a really dirty woman). Yummy! So basically, wash your junk because no girl wants to suck a dick with that.
Why am I mentioning smegma? I have a story to tell. One of my friends was young, insecure, in love, and just plain stupid. Her boyfriend (who was a piece of shit) was uncircumcised and guess what, he had smegma (so on top of being a piece of shit, he was dirty). Because she loved him and was insecure with her weight, she gave him a blow job even though he smelled like grated cheese (from the smegma).
First off, having the smell of grated cheese near my nose is gross and I don’t even know how she was able to open her mouth without vomit coming out. Two, sucking a dick is work but girl put serious overtime with sucking on a dick that had smegma and how did the fucker thank her? Cheated, lied about having cancer, and overall was a douche (received the award for worst boyfriend ever). Three, a dick is not like sucking on a lollipop, it’s not the best tasting thing ever but to add smegma to it… I don’t know how she didn’t die or how she continued.
Getting a blow job should be a treat for men. They should appreciate us putting a penis in our mouth. It’s called a blow job for a reason. So at least men can wash their dick before we suck on it. It’s about manners people. Be considerate and you will get more treats from us.
Also, ladies (and men) you should never have to deal with a smegma private part. Tell your lover to wash or dump their dirty ass. You don’t deserve to have white bacteria in your mouth.
Remember, you can email me to ask questions or give me your opinions about this. firstname.lastname@example.org