Why Does Sex Change Men For The Worse?

No, I didn’t have sex with The Brit last night. But, writing my blog yesterday did make me think of the topic. So men, why? Was your whole purpose of going out with us was to get us in bed? Or, once the deed is done your brain tells you to move on and spread your seed? A co-worker of mine told me that if he doesn’t develop feelings for his lady friend before they have sex then he will most likely get bored or want to meet someone else who excites him more.

Fine, I get that. You are only having “fun” until you are ready to move on to the next one. So, I guess that makes sense. But, geez be nice about it. Have some balls (and we know you have them because you like when we play with them) and tell us straight up and not take forever to text us or tell us you always have plans. If you came inside of me then you can tell me to my face that it’s over.

I googled (the best invention ever) “why do men change after sex” and read some interesting things. First, us ladies become needy. We might become needy but in our defense, we just shared a private moment with you so let us be needy damn it. However, if we are fatal attraction needy then yeah, I get it. Run. Change your number. Have a bodyguard with you at all times.

What’s fatal attraction needy? Texting you nonstop. Showing up to your place uninvited. Watching you sleep. Basically, your worst nightmare.  Watch the movie Fatal Attraction for more references.

Second, we have to love ourselves first before you can love us. I’m always 50/50 with this one because no one is completely happy with themselves. Sorry, even the most rich, gorgeous, intelligent person is still not 100% happy. And, it just sounds like such BS. Like beauty is skin deep. No, some people are just straight up ugly.

I am also watching Wendy Williams while writing this blog and she has James Van Der Beek as a guest and they are talking about how James quickly fell in love with his wife. And, this is what he said, “Guys know when they are ready.”

So men, is that what it is? You know when you are ready to settle down with one vagina? And, till you are ready you will explore all the vaginas you can?

Email me diaryofalovefool@gmail.com with questions or opinions.

The Brit

I don’t know if any of you realize but I love England. I went there last year with my mother and fell even in love more.  I love British movies, books, history, accents, and MEN. I should have been born there. I feel like I would get along pretty well there too. So, with that said, it only makes sense that I start dating a Brit… and I am!

I met The Brit on eHarmony… which by the way, love and recommend. You meet such quality men on the site with great jobs and ready to settle down.  Anyway, he’s not the best looking man I have ever met but he is cute, sooooo sweet, and such a gentleman.  I really super duper like this guy. On our 4th date we went to a wedding of his friends, tonight I’m meeting his squash team for drinks, making plans for double dates with his friends, and we have made more plans to meet more of his friends and mine… I feel like that means he is not dating anyone else and this is leading to something serious… hopefully ending in living in a sweet townhouse/apartment with a big but classy diamond ring on my finger.

Anyway, I think he might be the one. Andddddddd, I haven’t even slept with him yet. Yep, you read that right! We have only made out. Why am I keeping my legs shut you ask? One, I’m trying to be classy and in Sex and the City, Charlotte didn’t sleep with Trey and got a huge ring but that ended badly so we will have to sleep with him soon just in case he has Trey’s erection problem. Two, I always get nervous with him which either means I really like him or I sense he will be bad. Three, with my luck he will be bad and that will pop by British dreams. Four, I think it would be really romantic and soooo girly if I wait till he says he loves me or takes me away on a trip.  And five, sex always changes things and right now, I like the way he treats me and looks at me. 

Don’t say sex doesn’t change things because it for a fact does. Which doesn’t make sense. If you both like each other and have a good time with one another why not have fun between the sheets? And, why does it change for the worst? Why do guys become jerks and prove every parents’ warning about sex and men?

If you would like to answer my question, give your opinion, or ask me a question you can email me at diaryofalovefool@gmail.com

 

Little Man

No, this doesn’t mean he has a little dick… however, I don’t know if he does. I work in an office and someone (not in my department) likes me. Have worked with him for about 3 years and he finally approached me. Why do I call him Little Man you ask? Well, I am about 5’6″ and he is about an inch shorter than me. And, I love heels so you do the math. He is a nice kid (a year younger than me), took me to drinks and dinner, which included a bottle of red wine. Classy! Then we walked and he practically climbed me (I wore flats to make him feel comfortable). We made out everywhere, him grabbing my tits and crotch. I heard someone yell at us to get a taxi and go home. He was begging like a little boy at a toy store for me to go back to his apartment. I didn’t. One, as much as I’m crazy I do work with the guy and I’m not completely stupid. Two, I had my period and this lady doesn’t sleep with a guy for the first time with her period. Hey, I’m not trashy. Three, I already did the work affair and let’s say I rather not repeat that.

Little Man LOVES me. Now, I don’t think that highly of myself to just make that up. I say he loves me because he invited me to his high school reunion and be his plus 1 to a few weddings. He kept holding and kissing my hands and calling me babe (still calls me babe).

Now, there are two things I can do about Little Man. I should just break it off and use the best excuse anyone can say, “I got back with my ex”. And then there’s the fun thing I can do, have sex with him and be pleased to no end. Let’s be real, anyone who likes someone a lot will do anything for that person so I bet Little Man will go down on me till I shake from pleasure and I haven’t had someone pleasure me in months!

I wish Little Man was a little taller because he does have a cute face, a nice body, comes from the South, and adores me. It would have been so perfect. And for all of you that are judging, I dated another little man back in the day and he was so insecure with my height that he made me feel like crap and I didn’t wear heels which is a sin because I have beautiful heels.

What do you think I should do? Email me with your thoughts or if you have a question diaryofalovefool@gmail.com

 

Instagram

Hey! I finally became cool and joined Instagram. Follow me joss0000

Also, here are three other accounts I think you should follow:

cosmopolitan, emilygiffinauthor, justine_faeth

cosmopolitan is the official account for the magazine. They have fun pics to view and how could you not follow them if you are reading this blog? They practically go hand in hand.

emilygiffinauthor is the author’s account. I really enjoy her books so why not stalk her?

justine_faeth is the author’s account. I read her book and enjoyed it. Plus, she updates her account like every day all day with some cool pics (that I will steal for my account).

First Q&A

Received my first question! Wow, people are actually reading my blog. I was beginning to feel like the typical cat lady. Here is the question:

“First off I would like to say wonderful blog! I had a quick question which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your
mind before writing. I’ve had difficulty clearing
my mind in getting my ideas out there. I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes
are usually wasted just trying to figure out how to begin.
Any suggestions or hints? Appreciate it!”

Writing is hard but once you do it I feel like my fingers glide over the keyboard.  I feel like you should only write what you are passionate about.  So, when I’m in the mood to write watch out, because I will sit in front of my laptop and type to my fingers bleed.

Now, how do I get in the mood you ask? I recommend taking 5 minutes before you plan to write and just sit, breathe, and think about what story you want to tell and soon you will be tripping on your own feet to get to your computer.  Also, coffee helps in the morning and wine always helps no matter the time .

I decided to write about my life because 1) it’s laughable 2) I am writing what I know 3) I watched too much Sex and the City when I was younger and 4) living the life of Sex and the City

Now, I know most think living the Sex and the City life is amazing balls buttttt nah, guess again. First, the ladies on the show were running around the city  like a chicken without a head trying to find a good man to date or a good dick to fuck.  Two, most (95%) of people living in the city can’t afford to live like those ladies. I’m lucky that I can shop at H&M and pay my rent.  Three, let me tell you, people suck… especially in NYC. Everyone is selfish, at a fast pace, and looking for the next best thing.

I want to thank everyone for reading and for the kind words of the person that asked the question. Ask away!

diaryofalovefool@gmail.com

 

The Bitch Got Hitched

I’m back after a long month of work bitch slapping me, my mom having a week celebration for her birthday like she’s queen bee, and my friend’s posh wedding in Arizona.

So if anyone that was asking about the beautiful roses that were sent to me for Valentine’s Day… still don’t know who they were from so either I have a creepy secret admirer and a Lifetime movie will be made about me in a year or the person thinks I’m a rude whore for not thanking them.

My mom had a week long of ass kissing from me for her birthday, and that was a lot of ass to kiss so I was busy.

Now, on to my friend’s happily ever after…. or I pray and hope it is. Let’s start the story of how they met, which is tragedy turned into a wonderful tale. My friend’s mother needed surgery and my friend’s future husband was her doctor. Cute right? Seems like a good way to start, he helps save her mother’s life and they fall in love.  Well…… their sex life wasn’t the best. It was boring and routine, when they were having sex. He would claim her vagina was too big and she would claim his penis was too small… lovely words they would say to each other. Let’s hope now that they are married it’s 100% better… please pray with me that it is. Sex is so important.

But, still they decided to get married. And, for a bridesmaid that means to get tortured. Let’s start with the dress fitting, it sucks when a place gets your dress TWO sizes too big… was I really a fat ass when they measured me for the order or was it that they made such a huge error that they ended up costing my friend more money (yes, my gracious friend paid for our dresses and fittings). And, I believe for the first time in history a bridesmaid dress was not some hideous thing to be ashamed of wearing. Our dresses were gorgeous and I only had to watch my diet a few days before the wedding so a huge WIN for me.

The bachelorette party, well my friend and I planned this, the other girls didn’t help at all. Which is fine, whatever, because we planned a fun weekend while those ladies would just have sat and giggled (which that’s all they did all weekend but at least they were doing things while giggling).  One of the events we planned was for a male stripper to come to her room. Now, for ladies a male stripper is for more fun than sexual, we laugh, act horrified, and thank the lord for our boyfriends/husbands/for being gay (whatever floats your boat). This male stripper was no MAGIC MIKE. He came a half hour earlier than planned, which for girls is like 2 hours. He was hungover, did not dress like I asked him to dress as (room service), had a GUT, and sucked. Kept asking us what we wanted him to do and provided no toys or fun games (like we paid extra for). How does this mother fucker have this job? If you are ugly and fat at least be good at your fucking job. But, to suck and be ugly… how dare you.  And, we didn’t even pick him… he’s not even on the company website. And, my friend had him a few years ago when she went to a bachelorette party and at least he was thin then.  But he kept his dirty ass socks on and his sweaty gut kept rubbing against us. Plus he kept grabbing at my tits like he was hungry, which the fat fuck probably was.

Also, when you are in a relationship do you suddenly become boring? These girls were so boring (all in relationships, one was fat and too tired or didn’t want to get dressed up for anything). No one wanted to party hard, just eat, take a billion pictures, and call it an early night. However, if you are single like moi then bachelorette parties are great because men hit on you more and you are suddenly the cool and fun one (duh, that was me). And, bachelorette parties are a great excuse to go wild and get stupid drunk so why wouldn’t you?

The bridal shower: what are the official rules? Do bridesmaids pay or family? The last few I were in the family pays but my friend and her family wanted us to pay.  So we paid half of it buttttt I HATE bridal showers. They are boring and annoying with their stupid games and little food. Feed me damn it! And the gifts, why do we need to see every gift you received? It takes hours and by the time you go through all your kitchenware and towels I am on my 5th drink with hardly any food in me. It’s cruel and inhumane. When I have a bridal shower (IF I ever get married) there will be no opening the stupid gifts and LOTS of food and drinks. Basically more like a cocktail party than a shower.

Finally the wedding, which my fatass traveled to. First time in AZ and the weather was perfect and I cried when her husband read his beautiful vows to her and I haven’t cried like that since my dog died last year. Plus, it makes every woman think of their future. Will I ever find the one? When I have a wedding I will/I won’t do this? It kinda depresses you (or at least me) because finding the one has been a too difficult procedure for me. But, at least I had my makeup and hair done and I looked good but…. NO ONE to hook up with. Such a waste of all that work and no vagina pleasure or even a hot makeout session (which I haven’t had either since OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!)

Plus, I didn’t know my friend was Beyonce with fireworks at her wedding and three dress changes. Buttttt, the one thing I hate about fancy weddings is there was so little food. Why do people want to starve me? Are they trying to tell me something?

But, it was really truly amazing to see someone you love and known half of your life to get married, to move on from singlehood and be the beautiful woman you knew she would be (was that too cheesy).  Weddings are a pain but it’s worth it to see the bride and groom glowing with love. It gives a girl hope that I will be blinding like the sun one day.