So if you have ever been in a relationship, an only child, or just shit shy then you understand my pain. I am all three and let me tell you something, it’s stressful. You have to stalk bathrooms out, time your bathroom session well, and pray you can be quick and smell-free.
Wait, what is bombing you ask? Bombing is referred to when you shit or fart. Everyone has done it and has been a victim of these bombs. Example, you are at a bar and maybe you are buying a drink or dancing and you are just minding your own business when boom, a strong smell hits your nose and makes your eyes water. That’s a fart bomb. And, the people that drop these bombs will walk away, making you look like the bomber. And, that’s not a cute look for anyone.
Another example is when you destroy the bathroom after let’s say eating Taco Bell. Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Here’s a video to show you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw30B5R1Cig
Now you get it? Why am I bringing this up you ask? Well, as you know I am moving in with my Brit. So, when we spend the night at each other’s places I stress over when I can bomb my/his bathroom but now I will have to worry about it EVERYDAY. So, while looking at apartments, I would love to get a two bedroom so I can have a bomb bathroom. A bomb bathroom, the one where you know you can destroy it to your ass’s pleasure and not worry about your lover. Right now, I’m going in public places and at work, which is not fun because I think everyone knows now.
It would also be nice to not have to pretend I’m showering longer than necessary when I’m really bombing. Also, not to wait for work would be super nice too. It’s so much work to bomb in the office. I stalk our 2nd floor bathroom since not a lot of people are on that floor, go in, drop as fast as I can, and bounce out of there before anyone knows it me. I feel like I need a mic to drop when I’m done.
I’m writing this because I know other people understand my struggle and I want them to know it’s okay. We will make it through together. And, when we do get a place, I will let you know if I get my bomb bathroom.
Any questions or comments please write to me firstname.lastname@example.org